Find Yourself to Let Love Find You :)

I’ve been thinking recently – is it REALLY so hard to find someone special? I never actually considered it as difficult as everyone around me has made it out to be.

The advices we are generally given on this topic are: “Don’t look for them, they will find you” or “These things can’t be forced, let it happen”. As much as I agree with these sayings I really want to come in with a huge BUT! 🙂

Yes, The One will find you without you forcing it BUT:

Only if you are resonating on the same frequency you are claiming to be searching people on.
The biggest mistake that we make is to want something that we are internally not ready for. And by ‘not ready’ I mean that we don’t desire that relationship truthfully or not for the right reasons. And more often than not we don’t even realize that we are not ready for a serious commitment with “the One” and therefore we attract the “Wrong” type of people and start to bullshit ourselves and our current significant other about our feelings and intentions. We become obsessive and create our little projects we want to change; we start to idealise them and we fall in love with an idea of whom these people are and not with who they actually are.
Then when it’s over, and it always inevitably is, we become bitter and pathetic and we say shit like: “I gave them everything and they betrayed my trust”. Nope, this one is on us.

These relationships can’t end any other way because we didn’t have any authentic love and the only real reason we got into this relationship was for the sole purpose of… NOT BEING SINGLE.
This pathological behaviour repeats itself and spirals out of our control and ultimately becomes our only way of operating in the world in any kind of relationship.

IF you focus on the Lack of something in our life we won’t be able to find anything to fill it with.

The LAW OF ATTRACTION doesn’t work if what we desire stems from our LACK of it. In this case it derives from our lack of love, respect, support and/or life direction. Our desire to change our intimate life has to come from an uncontrollable desire to change our VALUE SYSTEM. We have to reach a level of Emotional Maturity that will lead us on the path to Authentic Desire to create meaningful and long-term relationships based on a stable foundation – moral compass, shared interests, sense of humour, ambition and dreams, vision for the future and ability to team play.

FIND YOURSELVES TO LET LOVE FIND YOU.
This will reflect in every aspect of our lives – family, work, friends. If we start loving ourselves and being happy with all that we are and all that we have which is never as insignificant as we chose to believe, if we focus on what’s beautiful and right in our lives, that’s when the magic clicks in and that ONE finds us.

It wasn’t hard for them to find us… they were just waiting for us to discover ourselves. And Vice Versa. 😉

Happy Easter!
Love,
J xxx

It’s nothing personal, silly!

“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” William Ernest Henley

To pick up from yesterday’s topic which was to permit yourself to have all the range of your emotions and still remain positively attuned to life: Live life on your own terms!

We are the master’s of our fate! It’s absolutely true but what does it actually mean because it sometimes feels like we are losing control over the events in our lives. Guess what – we never had control to begin with. But we are given the power to control our frame of mind and reactions to the present, our attitudes to the past, and expectations for the future (as the Iceberg shows).

If we just ALLOW ourselves to feel MOMENT-to-MOMENT all the complexities of life, all the emotions that relationships bestow on us and then just LET GO of them, just let them be, and keep living in the “new” present moment. Our mind and soul are one and that is the vessel we are in charge of!

Last time I wrote about the negative thoughts that come across our minds when we are doing some everyday chore. After we catch ourselves doing that and then have calmed ourselves down and our normal energies have started flowing through us,let’s try to remember what we were stressing about and let’s write it down or just talk about it out load. So what were you pissed off about? Analyse the situation. We are always angry because we were hurt. To be hurt we need to have taken something personally. Maybe someone close to us said something mean or we just weren’t in the mood and took something the wrong way, or we ourselves hurt someone and can’t swallow our pride and apologize. There are a million other scenarios but they all have the same thing in common: We took it personally!

Let me give you an example. I recently spoke to a close friend of mine on the phone. I was excited to hear them and I was telling them all about the great and exciting things going on in my life in London. My friend, usually a very positive and supportive person, also in the acting industry, intentionally tried to hurt me straight away by saying something like “well, you’re probably not that good and the people in London are very hypocritical – they don’t really mean all those nice things they say to you. You need to keep your feet on the ground and stop soaring in your fantasy world.” I didn’t say anything then but it did hurt and made me sad. It triggered the “you’re not good enough” voice we all have and that I was trying to bury for so long, successfully at that, but it took so little to resurface again.

I sat down and started writing about it and later I spoke to a friend who reminded me of something – when people close to us betray our trust or say something spiteful and mean and hurt us intentionally, it’s not because they want to make us insecure. It’s because they are feeling negative and insecure in this point of time. They are projecting their own problems, doubts and fears onto us. They are afraid and want to bring us down to their current lower energy level because they can’t climb to ours. It’s subconscious. It’s human nature and therefore it’s absolutely okay. We do it too, more than we realize. Funnily enough my friend then started complaining about how they felt inadequate and nervous in an audition just two days before and didn’t get the part. They were beating themselves up and there I came along all happy and confident it annoyed the hell out of them, so they projected their insecurities onto me.

To sum that up- the mean things people say to us, they actually are saying to themselves. So rule NUMBER ONE – NEVER TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY! Because it’s just not! It never is!

 

Well maybe Dr. House isn’t the right example for most situations but you get what I mean. We almost never know what’s going in people’s lives and never what that’s brought up within them and we judge them by the way they act. And of course as self-centred as we are we take an offence. We are just so silly sometimes.

Knowing this – it’s in our power to control our reactions to any situations. The lies we tell ourselves about us, regardless if they are externally or internally generated, are what has the only power to bring us down… or UP! What we let in is up to us!

So after realizing it wasn’t personal and detaching our EGO from it we can forgive our loved ones and ourselves for believing it in the first place. Smile, be grateful for your friend and wish them well in your heart – they are in a bad place right now and need that. Then give it some time before you contact them again. However I’m not saying, have a fight with them and never see them again! No. Just minimize contact with people who are not healthy for you at this point in your life. You will eventually find your way back to each other when the timing is right.

 

Love and respect yourself!

Tweets by JulianKostov

Have your ZENity but don’t lose your Sanity!

“I find myself unable to let go of the sense that human beings are somehow special, and that moment-to-moment human experience contains a certain unquantifiable essence. I still suspect there is something too quirky, too paradoxical, or too interpersonal to be imitated or re-created by machine life.” Douglas Rushkoff

What he said! Part of the human condition is allowing oneself to feel moment-to-moment and not to mechanically zone out and disconnect from any uncomfortable feelings. We are not machines.

The reason why I started writing about this topic was that the question of expressing anger and why it’s so hard to do came up in my acting class. I was reminded by Cynthia Levin, one of my acting teachers at AMAW London that having your Rage and Anger is absolutely crucial to your emotional stability. She said something along the lines of: releasing your anger in a safe way is healthier than all the green drinks money can buy. I agree with that and I think one problem with withholding anger is that some of us get so caught up in self-improvement books and the “positive thinking” philosophy and the ZEN mode that we sometimes lose grip of reality because of misinterpreting those teachings. It goes the same for all emotions.

Being positive is not about being happy all the time, and ignoring bad shit, smiling like a crazy person when it happens. No wonder you are stressed! All emotions need to be experienced otherwise they bottle up and eventually, when you live in denial long enough, they start coming back to haunt and poison your subconscious and effectively your life. You seem all positive and what not but when you find yourself doing a brainless task like laundering, cooking or washing dishes your mind storms off in the most negative of directions, doesn’t  it? And you don’t even realize just how de-constructive and even destructive your thoughts have been.

Should this happen and hopefully you will catch yourself in time, my advice is take a deep breath and realize the truth – you are fine. You have all the reason to be happy. The fact that you are here, alive, right now, free to live your life the way you want, to change, to be inspired and to inspire, to be grateful about all you have on this Earth. If that’s hard for you and you feel you are not grateful about anything how about opening your heart and being grateful for the roof you have, the bed you sleep in and the food you just ate. This should get you started. The future is in your hands and it’s always bright! No need to worry about it. Meditate on it if that’s something you do, or talk about it, or write!

So by now you should have let go of some stuff that’s been bothering you recently. If you are an actor by all means choose a scene that has to do with the emotions you have been bottling up and explore them on stage. The stage is a SAFE place where you are permitted to unleash without consequences.

For those of you who are not actors, find your own SAFE places and ways to express your suppressed emotions. Scream in your car or underwater, hit a pillow, go boxing, running, dancing, see a play or a movie that touches you deeply, cry, meditate, make a loving gesture, smile, laugh with friends, do karaoke, go karting. Whatever! Liberate yourself. Most importantly when you feel an emotion, where socially appropriate, embrace it and express it to its fullest extent. If you can’t write it down and write why you couldn’t, what was stopping you? Why were you embarrassed to show your emotions, your true self? Why are you hiding? Was it because of the importance you put on public perception and the fear of judgement?

Don’t be afraid to look foolish! First of all if you are true to your feelings in the moment you will never actually be foolish or out of line and secondly, I will let you in on a secret:

I will tell you what people are thinking about you 99% of the time. Are you ready?! Here it is. They are thinking: “I wonder what he/she thinks of me!”

Being positive doesn’t contradict expressing all the gamma of emotions you feel! It’s okay to feel. It’s called being human. And if feels like this

Have a smiley week full of truth. 🙂

 

P.S. If you are interested in taking the best acting class in town check out:

Home

London teachers:

http://www.mitchellmullen.com/Mitchell_Mullen/Welcome.html

http://cynthialevin.com/

 

Rest in peace Paul Walker

Пол Уокър – сам баща,филантроп, актьор. Организацията му Reach Out Worldwide се занимава с бърза реакция и бърза помощ за отдалечени райони на света засегнати от катастрофални природни бедствия. Често той самият пътувал с групата и помагал на място. Той се е возил при катастрофата отнела живота му! За да уважите живота на Пол Уокър, ви умолявам да спрете да карате безотговорно, да спрете да пиете и карате, да поемате отговорност за живота, делата си и вашите близки. Използвайте всяка възможност, за да накарате някой да се усмихне. Помагайте на тези в нужда, вместо да поглеждате в страни.

I woke up happy today because I had my first publication being posted in the newspaper. However the first news that I got after opening my eyes was that someone I really liked, looked up to and admired had passed away. While I was sleeping a whole world had changed.

Paul Walker was a fantastic actor and from what I gather a real nice person. He was attending a charity event at his organization  Reach Out Worldwide (ROWW) and then died on the way home in a car accident. And it wasn’t him driving! The work he is most famous for are the Fast and Furious, in which he was the lead in 5 out of 6 of them. I’ve enjoyed watching him act in other films too such as Into the Blue and especially Takers. I still recite a catch phrase of his from that movie whenever I meet a certain friend who also adores him! “We good?” PW: “All signs point to it!”

Here are a few things you may not know about Paul that you might find interesting:

He started acting really young in many commercials and small roles in TV. Paul’s first passion was marine biology so he went to study that. However he run out of financing for school and went back to acting just to be able to pay off his student loan. But that’s when he got his role in Pleasantville. From then on the rest is history. He says he is happy and didn’t turn his back on marine biology because his acting career has helped him enjoy all of his passions, including the one for helping people. He created the ROWW organization in 2010 as a disaster relief organization. The ROWW event he attended yesterday was raising money for the victims and their families of the Yolanda super typhoon in Manila, Philippines where over 5600 had lost their life and 1800 are still missing. Paul walker is a single father to 14 year old daughter.

To honor Paul Walker I urge you to stop driving irresponsibly, drinking and driving, to take responsibility for your duties and loved ones, and use every opportunity to make someone smile. Help those in need rather than looking away! Be compassionate.

“Taken in Haiti following the earthquake in 2010. Paul walker with his nonprofit org ROWW. org providing aide to the affected community. Paul taking a moment of silence before leaving.”

I still can’t believe he is gone but he will be in my heart and mind and I send my prayers to his family and friends and especially to his little daughter who I am sure will be surrounded with love by all of Paul’s friends!

RIP PAUL WALKER.

(1973–2013)

What can we learn from Africa?

Victoria falls, Zambia.

Maybe some of you are familiar with what I did this summer, but for those of you who do not I will explain. I recently spent a month and a half in Botswana, Africa for a reality TV-show. We had no phones or internet. There I saw the unspeakable beauty of this old and very rooted continent. I also saw the terrifying reality that people have to endure every day! All of these experiences enriched my life immensely and have thought me much about life in general. But what was it exactly that changed in me, what did I really learn? A good question… Did Africa instill in me a deeper respect in me for Mother Nature? Did I learn to respect other people’s choices?  Did I start saving water, food and did I reduce all unnecessary comforts to a minimum? No! Of course not! I remained the same spoiled European who wondered at the beautiful savannah. I talk a big talk but continue to do nothing. And once we got back to the “civilization”, even after understanding what the San (Bushmen) culture is all about and starting to really understand free will and the sanctity of personal choice we haven’t grown more tolerant to our closest when we are displeased with their decisions. Our modernity era minds got swept away by the smallest and most trivial of problems and pointless quarrels. I was reborn only to be overcome by utter oblivion, to fall into the endless abyss of indifference and of course, now I can’t shut up about how this changed me and how I’m so f*cking Zen with all my newly found truths about the universe and whatnot. Just how vain exactly am I? I am giving a bath to a bush kid, giving my clothes away to them, sacrificing something special of mine so that the other participants in the show can get their special things. How noble! I am such a selfless giver and helper, aren’t I? But why do I always forget to do it for my closest people? We, humans, are so lonely precisely because we are concerned with ourselves, how we appear, and what people from our outer circle will think of us. A few weeks passed but I haven’t started to act as a changed man. My words keep growing larger but my actions are absent. I see my friends from the show and we wine and dine like kings and we talk about our beautiful experiences in that magical distant land called Botswana. We say that if we could we would move there permanently. The truth is we can. But the other truth, the bigger one is that we don’t truly want it. So what does wanting something really mean? You have to want it so bad that it turns into your one and only full-time obsession. Every single day you wake up, every step you make, every action you take would be one that brings you closer to that ultimate goal. Yeah, we like talking but we’d much rather have our comfort.

Africa: The stars must be crazy, BTV.

Of course, that doesn’t make us bad people; it doesn’t make us ungrateful and non-deserving happiness. It’s normal for people to ignore and forget the unnecessary pain, misery, and suffering as time or distance progresses – as a matter of fact – have you noticed how when you hear on the news that something terrible happened, you react differently if that accident happened halfway across the world. And as these events get geographically closer to us we progressively get more nervous and uneasy.  Only it doesn’t really matter where you are from and how far away these things happen whether it be in the States, in Africa, or in your neighborhood, human pain and loss have the same face value everywhere – it is absolute! The reality is that humans are capable of feeling for others if we are immersed in a different reality, whether it be while watching a movie for a couple hours or spending a month and a half in Africa. But after you get out of the movie theatre or get back home from such a distant and alien environment and collide with your, in its own way, “terrible” reality you suddenly forget about the foreign lack and scarcity. It’s only natural.

9/11 Something terrible that I clearly remember, I was 12; but for some reason, it felt odd: It almost felt like it didn’t happen only because it occurred so far away.

And I want to stress it again; this doesn’t make us terrible human beings. I have to say I believe I am an okay male specimen of modern society.  I have retained a huge part of my idealism, my selflessness, if this word even means anything in the universe, my honest serenity, my warmth, and useless naivety, of which I am truly proud of possessing.  I abhor the distrustfulness and cynicism of our world, although I am quite aware that people have become so due to their personal experiences. But does that really have to excuse or justify anyone’s behavior?! Have I not been disappointed or hurt in my lifetime? Ha! Of course, I have been! I’ve just decided that I want to live my life on my own terms and I know that if I don’t, I wouldn’t be happy. Just as I wouldn’t win a fight with an unfair advantage, I have decided to have faith in the virtuousness, the good, and the clean intentions of people. All of this makes me more vulnerable but it makes me the person that I am and the one I want to be. What do I have to live for if I don’t believe in beauty, in good, in the innocent, in fairytales…. Isn’t this the meaning of life? What if I lock it all out, what then would I have?! Of course, I’m not saying I am as gullible as a teenager. I don’t blindly trust everyone and everything, I always think and evaluate what I see and what I’m being told but I don’t let my prejudices make me distrustful and incredulous I only use them for their sole purpose – to create a healthy alertness.

Julian Kostov (me)(yay me) at the edge of the Victoria Falls, Zambia.

Back to the subject of gratitude and what an awful human being I am. I will give you a few examples about how hypocritical a virtue can be when it is judged in absolutism and out of context. – Yesterday I picked up three pieces of garbage from the street and threw them in the bin, today I passed by seven of them because I just wasn’t in the mood. The other day I stopped the water while I was using the soap, today I took a nice long bath and later a 20 min shower. The truth is that we can’t save the Bushmen from poverty and extinction, I can’t help all the refugees, all the victims, and I can’t stop the wars or the accidents on the road… We felt guilty of seeing them bathe and drink enough water to quench their thirst with just only 30 milliliters of water that they took from a hard to find root of a bi bulb plant. GUILT is misleading; I think it is always a wrong feeling to trust. Don’t fall for it. Also, know that everything in life is relative and subjective.

Bushmen drinking from a bi bulb plant, Kalahari, Botswana.

What we can really learn from Africa as a personal lesson is this: Without comparing the conditions of life, without feeling sorry for the “poor” people and feel bad because we realize just how ungrateful we are about being so favored by life, we just need to be better in the context of our world. It’s that simple. If we make our personal world much cleaner, better, nicer, more open, more smiling, more beautiful, and compassionate, I believe that we will have done everything within our power to change the entire world for the better! I am convinced that even the bushmen will start feeling much better and happier without realizing how and why. Because the universe is connected and we have the local responsibility to change the global reality! And that is why I will continue picking up trash when I feel like it, I will save water when I can, I will be warm towards people, I will help the closest to me and I will love myself. And whatever happens, I will not let my intellect and knowledge destroy my peace of mind and happiness. There is no need to endure other people’s hardships to learn how to cherish and rejoice at even the tiniest source of happiness. I say that… but would I have come to these conclusions had I not? And wasn’t I happier then? Remember, there are two ways to live your life, as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle! The choice is yours.

Moremi Game Reserve, Botswana – Night sky!

Африка: Урок номер две! Да се вгледаме в нашите недостатъци, преди да сочим с пръст!

Резерват Мореми, Ботсуана.

Това което следва да прочетете е финалът на предната публикация, която написах. Тогава обаче реших, че ще се получи прекалено дълъг текст и го оставих за сега!

Леопарди, Резерват Мореми, Ботсуана. Импали, Резерват Мореми, Ботсуана.

Преди това обаче ще ви дам малко информация за Резерват Мореми в Ботсуана. Там беше лагерът ни в саваната, в който живяхме в продължение на 10 дни. Кръстен е на вожд Мореми от племето Ба’Тауана. С размер 500 000 ха или 5,000 кв. км., той не е най-големият в южноафриканската държава. Националната политика е екологично-туристическа, като в парковете има много малко лоджове – малки селца с колибки. Целта е туристите да могат да се потопят в в девствената природа и да се преклонят пред величието на тази земя. 

Мореми Лодж, Ботсуана. Туризъм в Мореми Парк, Ботсуана.

Ето и втория финал на предишната публикация, стояща достатъчно добре и самостоятелно:

“Ще завърша с една страхотна и дълбока мисъл, която да не повярва човек, но ми се падна от ония късметчета, които идват с кафето, когато си на заведение. Тя е във връзка с една доста обширна тема, в която няма да вляза в детайли сега – опазването на околната среда! Какво правят правителството и обикновените граждани в Ботсуана – те пазят земята, природата, животните и традициите си!

Двете ми близки срещи с леопарди в Ботсуана.

А, какво правим в България… Първо да погледнем към правителството:  Днес прочетох, че продават защитена земя на нос Калиакра на безценица, за да я застроят, следователно съсипят и да изкарат пари, разбира се.

Нос Калиакра, България.

Но не само правителството е виновно, ние се държим с природата си сякаш наистина ни не все едно. Най-важно е да спрем да сочим с пръст и да се вгледаме в нас.  Ние хвърляме боклуци по земята и не пазим никакъв вид чистота, нямаме ни най-малка култура на рециклиране и се държим зле с животни и хора, а после се прибираме у дома и със сълза в окото и един клик на мишката подписваме петиции за опазването на околната среда в Камбоджа, или против избиването на тюлените и китове в Норвегия, или пък в защита на експлоатирания детски труд в Китай и проклинаме жестокостта. Лошото е, че след тази онлайн активност се чувстваме добре, сякаш изпълнили граждански, не, дори вселенски дълг и променили света. Лицемерно, а и доста глупаво, не мислите ли? Жестоки сме ние, винаги с най-ценното, най-близкото ни. Това което взимаме за даденост.”

Боклук, София. Част от събраните боклуци в района на Седемте Рилски Езера.

Искам да обърна внимание на този текст от статия на Жак Юрий за Франс Прес, на която попаднах днес. Казва се Японското Изкуство да Събираш Боклука Разделно. Разгледайте я.  http://e-vestnik.bg/15382

 

“Обяснявам, че използвайки местоимението НИЕ, докато пиша, не поставям всички под един знаменател, аз самия не се слагам под него. Пиша така, защото всеки от нас може повече и надявам се това да подбуди у вас, както и у мен самия, промяна и развитие.

А ето и мисълта от кафето…Трябва да разберете, че земята НЕ ни е подарена от предците ни, а ни е дадена под наем от нашите деца! Между другото поговорката е индианска… една от многото цивилизации, погубени от прогреса, алчността и парите. Дано не „изчезнем“ скоро и ние и помнете, че независимо от обстоятелствата и изкушенията ние винаги имаме право на избор! ”

“Ще бъдем запомнени вечно според следите, които оставяме зад нас.” Дакотанска поговорка.

Африка: какво се промени изобщо?

Може би някои от вас знаят, за останалите ще обясня, че скоро бях в Ботсуана, Африка. Там видях с очите си, колкото красиви, толкова и тъжни гледки и мисля, че престоят ми там ме научи на доста неща. Но на каквo по точно, как се промених всъщност? Добър въпрос…  Научи ли ме Африка на по-голямо уважение към природата? На уважение към личния избор на хората? Научих ли се да пестя вода, храна и да се лишавам от ненужни удобства. Не, разбира се! Останах си все същия безхаберен „бял“ човек. Говоря много, но продължавам да не върша нищо…  Кой от нас, хората, е спрял да осъжда другите за решенията им, които не му допадат; кой след такова преживяване не се връща към дребнавите си проблеми и безпредметни кавги? Преживях прераждане само за да ме погълне забвение и да потъна в безчувствие и в неуморни превъзнасяния за новооткритите ми идеали.

Колко само съм суетен! Колко само обичам да дарявам и помагам, а забравям да го правя за най-близките си. Ние, хората сме толкова самотни, точно защото се интересуваме само от себе си, как ще изглеждаме и какво ще си кажат хората за нас.

Минават седмица, две, три, а аз продължавам да не се държа като променен човек. Думите ми все по-големи – делата все още отсъстващи. Събираме се – ядем и пием, като бейове и си спомняме с умиление за хубавото време прекарано в Африка. Казваме, че ако можехме щяхме да се преместим там. Истината е, че можем… Но другата истина – по-голямата е, че никой от нас не го иска истински. А какво значи истински – толкова, че това да се превърне в основна цел, в най-съкровено желание – да искаш нещо истински значи всеки ден да работиш в посока постигането му. Обичаме да говорим, но доста предпочитаме удобния си живот тук…

Разбира се, това не ни прави лоши хора, не ни прави неблагодарници, не ни прави незаслужаващи щастие. Нормално е за хората да игнорират излишната болка, мъка и страдание – забелязали ли сте, че когато чуете нещо ужасно по новините, реагирате различно, ако то се е случило на далечен континент. И колкото по-близко географски се случват тези ужасни неща, толкова повече ви натоварват и притесняват. Но човешката болка и загуба носи една стойност навсякъде – и в Америка, и в Африка, и в България, тя е абсолютна. Факт е, че ние умеем да съпреживяваме, когато сме потопени в друга реалност, дали докато гледаме 2 часа филм или ако седим в Африка месец и половина. И след като станеш от креслото в кино салона или когато се върнеш от далеч и от едни несвойствени условия се сблъскаш с твоята собствена по неин си начин „жестока“ реалност забравяш за чуждата липса и оскъдица. Нормално е.

И пак припомням, това не ни прави лоши човешки същества. Дори смятам, че аз съм един не лош екземпляр на модерното общество. Запазил съм огромна част от идеализма си, безкористната (ако изобщо във вселената тази дума има някакъв смисъл) си добрина, ведростта си, топлината си и безполезната си наивност, с която се гордея страхотно. Ненавиждам мнителността и циничността на света, въпреки че ясно си давам сметка, че хората са станали такива въз основа личен опит. Но защо въпреки? Това не оправдава никой… Нима аз не съм бил нараняван и не съм бил разочарован? ХА! Просто съм решил, че не живея ли живота си по своя начин, не бих бил щастлив. Точно както не бих победил нечестно, така и личния избор да имам вяра в добродетелността и чистите намерения на хората ме правят такъв какъвто съм и искам да бъда. За какво имам да живея, ако не вярвам в красотата, в доброто и в невинното, в приказките… Нима това не е смисъла на живота? Ако се затворя и изключа себе си – тогава какво..? Разбира се, не казвам, че се държа все още като глупав тинейджър. Винаги имам едно наум, винаги мисля, но НЕ оставям предразсъдъците ми да ме тровят и правят мнителен и недоверчив, а да правят само това, за което съществуват – да създадат здравословна бдителност.

Отново на темата за благодарността и това колко ужасен човек съм. Давам няколко примера, за това колко лицемерна може да е една добродетелност, когато е се сравнява в абсолютизъм и без контекст.

-Вчера вдигнах три боклука и ги хвърлих в коша, днес подминах седем, защото не бях в настроение.

-Онзи ден спрях водата, докато се сапунисвах, днес си направих вана и след това се къпах 20 минути.

Истината е, че не можем да спасим бушмените, не можем да спасим всички бежанци, не можем да прекратим войните и да спрем катастрофите по пътищата… Също така не може да се очаква от нас да живеем, като бушмени завинаги само защото сме гузни, че сме ги видели да пият и да се къпят с 30 милилитра вода от някаква си трудно намираема грудка. Вината винаги е грешно чувство. Никога не се водете по нея! Също така нищо в живота не е едно към едно. Всичко е относително.

Това, което наистина можем да вземем от Африка, а и вие гледайки и съизживявайки го с нас, като личностно израстване и пример е това: Без да сравняваме условията, без да съжаляваме „горките“ хора и да се самобичуваме колко сме неблагодарни и облагодетелствани, просто трябва да станем по-добри в контекста на нашия свят. Толкова е простичко. Направим ли нашия личен свят по-добър, по-чист, по-красив, по-усмихнат, аз смятам, че сме направили всичко по силите си, за да променим целия свят. Убеден съм дори, че и бушмените ще се чувстват по-добре и по-щастливи без да знаят защо и как. Защото вселената е свързана и ние имаме локалната отговорност да променим глобалната реалност! И затова аз ще продължа да събирам боклуци, когато усещам, че искам и ще пестя вода, когато мога, ще бъда усмихнат с хората, ще помагам на близките си и ще обичам себе си. И няма, няма, няма да разреша на интелекта и знанието да погуби щастието и спокойствието ми. Няма нужда да търпите несгоди, за да се научите да се радвате дори на най-малката радост в живота. Има два начина да живеете живота си – сякаш нищо не е чудо или сякаш всяко нещо е чудо. Изборът е ваш.